Van Chitgough- The Art of Life

a great weekend gone by. adventures bordering on slight insanity with the loved one crossing multiple 'cities'...so very worth it :)

interesting updates include ...

1. russell peters show on the 7th of march! I've got 10 tickets to watch one of the funniest men on the planet perform in delhi:). It's going to be a riot...


2. Watched eklavya on sunday. not a bad movie at all. It could have done with a bit more rustic and rural setting in terms of the language and character interaction; but overall, the all star cast and AB Sr's phenomenal acting (once again) made it worthwhile. The music, the photography and the fact that it was all over 110 minutes long (shockingly short for a hindi movie) made it the perfect bite sized package of intensity and higher quality indian cinema. Also honestly interested in reading and understanding more of the hindu scriptures used as a theme for the flick, dharma....

3. GIR this weekend! After having missed the last 2 due to escapades across the planet i'll be back to witness india's best (albeit commercial best) thrash it out in a 2-day 'festival' extravaganza. Yes you heard right. GIR is no longer a competition but an all out music festival that shall hopefully elevate the status of the artists to pure and dedicated performers that are looking to sing their hearts out, not worrying for what the judges might think. Good move. looking forward.

4. met her a fortnight back. like she said, its so good to just be able to 'pick up' from where we last left off..catching up, old jokes, old friends, new stories, new experiences, ambitions, the search and journey towards the 'ideal'. Sharing it all. I'm still jealous as hell that she owns a blackberry pearl and that is what she was using to chat with me on google on her way to work. You coolio:) Good luck with the 'next step', i'm sure its going to be brilliant.

February still motors along and a not-so-quick pace. Waiting for the swan song and transition to the new thrill....
more soon..

Posted by chitgo at 2/19/2007 08:50:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Far four winds blow
There's trouble and it won't go
I'd really like to help you but you know
Truth twist - liars dance
Money, money - greed, chance
Let's take a little more before we go
Cause we won't be back again
No we won't be back again

Trees cry - men bow
Kneel before the fatted cow
Let's take a little moo before we go
We won't be back again
No we won't be back again
Oh we won't be back again

Tell me Jesus what to do
A little time for me, and none for you
Just leave it to the lady who's sure
She won't be back again
I know she won't be back again
I'm sure she won't be back again
Oh she won't be back again

any guesses on what and by whom these lyrics are?
robert plant went solo after his normalcy-defying career as one of music's greatest showmen, performer and creator with led zeppelin. Although it has a well documented
fact that 'stairway to heaven' was never one the band's favorite songs (largely because it was grossly misunderstood), not too many know that plant actually wrote a song signifying his considerable dislike (bordering on hatred) for this number that quite nearly defines the lives of millions of music lovers. Lyrics are from 'liars dance' (the album being manic nirvana), a fantastic composition...and a must listen for zep heads with true love for sheer irony....

Posted by chitgo at 2/17/2007 11:50:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Strain my ears
catching
distant sounds
like diesel engine powered
mini cars
rolling by
attempting effortlessly
to break the silence
a silence so deafening
this insomniac.

Darkness
interspersed
with streams of light
much too bright
somehow locating
the corner of my eye
attempting effortlessly
to obfuscate the nightfall
an enlightenment so undesired
this insomniac.

Thoughts
wandering
meandering
floating mercilessly
clashing violently
of you
of me
of the serendipity
attempting effortlessly
to induce the insanity
a madness so jarring
this insomniac.

-Dhruv Chitgopekar
1:00am , 15th February 2007

Posted by chitgo at 2/15/2007 12:47:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Dear dC,
So the big day is here! V-day babeeeahh yeah!. I can just hear the angels and harps playing in the background. Me and my boyfriend have been keeping quiet about the day because we don’t want to like ruin the surprise for each other but I have to tell you…eeeeeeeeeeeeee I am so excited! I got him this bug red heart (on sale from archies) with teddies and a little mug that says “worlds greatest boyfriend , from the worlds greatest girlfriend” isn’t that just adorable? I also wrote him a poem and sprayed some of my perfume on it so that he can remember it 4ever!!! …god its going to be so romantic. I’ve hinted at this new restaurant down at sector 32 which is supposed to be frightfully expensive but with stunning ambience and has only the most happening couples all the time. Being such a great lover yourself, I wanted to ask you…how should I react when he gets me some fabulously beautiful ring with chocolates etc (I have told him which ones I like). I could either just yelp for joy and give him a big hug and you know generally scream about for 20 mins :) Or I could softly look at the ring and get a tear in my eye and sniffle a bit just to show how emotional I’ve got. I want him to be really taken In by my surprise because that will just mean more gifts and more romantic time for me!!! ..so being a guy yourself, what kind of reaction would you like to see best after giving the best girlfriend in the world a beautiful valentines day?

-charmed in chandigarh

Dear charmed,

Wear your best lingerie and proceed to give him a ‘real valentines day gift’ Ain’t no straight dude gonna ask you to be the mother of his children with a crappy poem and a mug. Wizen up sister. V-day is a commercialized way In which to provide our still-backward countrys’ youth with an opportunity to secretly hold hands and express in the wimpiest way possible some semblence of attraction and desire. Everyday should be V-day If you’re really into the dude. You don’t need a stupid mark on the calendar to prove it.

I read letters like these and I wonder, how do you end up surviving school? If you went to my school you’d be dragged to the corner of the football field and have the living shit kicked out of you for being such a nerd. And that would just be the 8th grade girls…the older ones would have you gutted and splayed…

Anyway, my advice on your reaction ? take a gun and shoot him in the shin. Post this brilliant move, hand the weapon over to me and I shall do you the same honor. Medical science has to advance to the stage where doctors can pull a kid out like you and know that you shall be the very incarnate of ultimate stupidity 20 years later. They should know how to spot such sheer retardation. This is what is destroying our country, our planet. Screw global warming, someone send out a stupidity warning. We’re not thinning the ozone layer, we’re adding on to the bozone layer with fools like you. I hope your boyfriend buys you a heart shaped keychain with ‘luv’ spelt on both sides. Since when did the value of a gift get equated to the cost on the price tag?

Valentines’ day should be gods way of putting together the dumbest people on the planet and having them eradicated with one big laser beam. The laser beam would know exactly what to do because it would be embedded with a moron-tracking device.

Excuse me while I gag.

If any of you are thinking that these are words of an angst-filled ‘single’ and depressed dC because he doesn’t have someone special…..I have some advice for you too….
Step in line with the lazer people. Step in LINE with the lazer.

When it comes to love sister; the excitement is in the real glow, not the show. Go listen to some old foreigner and Fleetwood mac tracks. Put on some Aman Hayer while you’re at it and listen to a real Punjabi brother sing of the love that transcends materialistic bullshit. Become a person woman, become a person.

Hope this helps
-dC

and on a side note, thank you once again xkcd

Posted by chitgo at 2/14/2007 12:01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments   

Dear dC,
Today’s the 13th of February. I usually like February but I have to say these last few years have me hating and dreading the first half of this month. I know its not something you would probably no about but I had to turn to someone for advice. dC I still haven’t got a valentine man!!. No date, no significant other, no nothing!, you know –zilch! The whole day is going to be one big red heart popping out of some eye-level placed banner/woodwork/shop/mall/t-shirt and not to mention the pda infected couples. Man, I want to get away from it all!..better still I want to have someone to share the day with L….any advice for a hopeless romantic (but irritable anti v-day activist) like myself?

-dateless from dwarka

Dear dateless,
My good friends Able and Baker had a conversation which reminded me of your little predicament.

Look loser…first off, not having a date for V-day should be just as bad as any other day for you. Don’t let the hilarity of intelligence-challenged men and women all around you overtly ruin your mood. You are a douchebag anyway. With no social life and no significant other, all 365 days in the year should be a hellish drag of low self esteem and diminishing action in the bedroom. Why let one day increase the pain and suffering? Continue on as you were before and just imagine the 14th to be a more severely torturous day in what is anyway a disease you battle on a day-to-day basis.

My advice? Stop thinking about wanting and having someone in your life so much that it takes over your mental processes. The day you wake up and decide to be good at something (in your case it could be attaining garbage-collector of the year or ticket counter guy of the week or something) other than nabbing someone from the opposite sex (without having to enter a monetary exchange); you’ll automatically see a rise in your stock value. This is the problem with men around the world. Women don’t go for the seekers, they go for the nonchalant.

What happens after that is a different story.

Seriously though you idiot, quit being a wimp, grow a pair and quit whining. Put on some insane clown posse and sing along to immature raps on sex, drugs and social outcasts. Better still, put on some muddy waters and drown in the despair of the greatest blues you’ll ever hear. Skip the romantic numbers though, its been known to cause serious desires of inflicting self-indulgent harm in people with your particular problem. Wait, that might not be such a bad idea actually.....

Hope this helps.
-dC

Posted by chitgo at 2/13/2007 10:05:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

This one’s going to be more like a regurgitation. Comprehension I do not guarantee. Dissolving my own mind of lingering, mostly unnecessary trivialities, I do.

The last few weeks of a job you’ve already left, and have no inclination towards are tough. Quite tough. Pushing for the motivation to stick on and deliver what you were brought in to do in the first place takes some doing. Its also a bit disheartening. Almost a year down the line, and you’re aware of the benefits, the familiarity, the ease, the comfort and the almost obvious recognition you’re to receive. But no, there’s no rest for the wicked, and this quote could only be related to by the slightly insane, slightly maddened few that can’t embrace status quo because it’s the pace at which they run away from mediocrity that boggles the sheer existence of the ‘ordinary’. The ordinary that is the millions of living-pods all around us. Nope, not for me. Not now and hopefully not ever. Irrespective, there’s a new challenge in the horizon. Finish this off and exit stage left with the pride of your entry. I need new shoes. A pair that would go with a blue jeans and a white shirt in a soon to be arriving, hot delhi summer. The winter chill decided it needed its swan song though. I delivered yet another monologue. Clear, unwavering, honest. As the sound of raindrops on the roof of my car accompanied the growing thunderous light show around us, I explained how it was going to be. How decisions and more importantly, difficult decisions are all you need to focus on. Trust can only come from within. Go with your gut. I always have, and I haven’t always been right. It was only the knowledge of the fact that it was my decision (my own) and noone else’s that provided the strength for facing the consequences. Whichever way they may go. Go with your gut. Life is about choices, and contrary to popular opinion..we are not the choices we make, but the ability to deal with what those choices would bring. I liked rocky.
It was a bit of an anti-climax but they showed how ruinous life can seem when we hold onto the past. Hold on to it in a way that would never allow the present or the future an opportunity to appear luminous enough. Luminous enough to rival what the past held, what the past meant. It was a nice evening though. Pebble street brings back fond memories of times I was too broke to afford anything in that place. College days. Where loose change and spare notes were reserved for the always-expensive pack of classic milds. Wavering (although irritably) to the damn navy cuts from time to time, just because the aftermath of those delicious shwarmas in the new friends colony market was not complete without a long drag. I wore such loose jeans. They rippled in the air as I zipped my bike through the maze. Getting wet and shifting my helmet in a way that wouldn’t interfere with the pathetic excuse for protection my blue bandana would bring my wavy, curly hair. A guy above my house got bald at 24 cos he never wore a bandana whilst driving his bike. He looks like a flaming idiot now. Rudy’s birthday. A different crowd. Somehow, reminiscent of people I used to hang out with at a point of time. No longer. Priorities, desires, ambitions change. content with that change. Wouldn’t want it any other way. The advice column has been fun to write. I'll continue to churn out a couple a week for sure. I absolutely love the new center fresh campaign. Im sure its kailash kher singing in the background. That guy has one hell of a haunting voice. My fingers are flying much faster across the fret board after the last few weeks of playing. Switching between a decent blues scale back to a power/major/minor chord comes with more ease. Need to develop a few new sounds. The poems are aching to be converted to songs. One of the priorities for the coming year now that I’m in the capital for good. Mixed feelings. What shall the future bring? Embrace someone you love today. There is no other way.
oh and chandigarh was a blast. doctors should just prescribe punjabi weddings to people with depression. yet im sure there's a bittersweet taste to even those ultimat portrayals of human bonding and happiness. thanks neha. aman hayer is the new god. would we have heard that song 50 times? a 100?
chalo. time to go. adios.

Posted by chitgo at 2/12/2007 10:52:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Yo yo yo dC,
My top dawg, hows it hangin? I’ve been facin some major problematic problems recently and I thought Id drop you a holler and get some advice with a side orderin of rice you know what im sayin?

Anyway, the deal is bro that I just cant get myself to wake up in the friggin morning. No matter what I try. My woman be busy screaming her gawddamn lungs out but I cant get the body to move. My mind is saying come on boss, shake it, bake it, make it happen. But it just doesn’t work. Ive tried alarms, bombs, early morning FM, makin my lady throw a bucket of cold water on me (just resulted in me almost smackin her for her impudence), etc etc… Basically, ive tried everything…

I’ve got a job answering queries at the airline counter in Mumbai airport and getting late is just gonna get my ass fired. Help boss, youre like the savior for my misbehavior dude…

-dozing in dadar

Dear dozemaster,
As my good friend Sam would say..its hanging a bit to the left today. But ok, getting to your problem…I have a few issues with the selection of solutions you embarked on.
1.Early morning Indian FM is not for waking/listening purposes. Its what the Indian army uses to torture those who cross the LOC illegally. Don’t ever do that to yourself man..no matter how much of an idiot you might think you are (and you seem to be ranking quite high in the india’s most retarded hitlist)
2.bombs? Dude…..
3.cold water? Man….there are times when I don’t even know what to say….

So anyway, I fortunately, (as in most cases) do not share in your particular predicament, so I turned to my phenomenon of a flatmate who sleeps so much through the day, I sometimes think he’s in a call center. He however, miraculously, survives on, gets his ass out of bed and keeps his job, somehow. Here is what he had to say:

“the oversleeping condition (complimented by the ‘I cant wake up in the morning condition’ is caused by the severe reproduction of the violet colored imbecile-effect inducing moronis cells in the brain’s frontal lobe area. The best solution is to have someone deliver a swift kick in the nuts to you first thing in the morning".
Whilst this is something my flatmate has to deal with often, my advice is to follow it up with a supremely loud playback of korn’s issues album or megadeth’s - youthanasia. There is a track in the issues album called wake up that I used for 2 months in a row during my god-forsaken board exams. I never heard it once after that due to the hellish flashbacks but yeah, it got the job done.

Secondly, quit whining and grow a pair.

Sleep earlier, quit fantasizing on how you’ll one day become rich and successful, quit watching late night home-shopping networks (you cannot afford anything) and finally, try to expand your severe lack of grey matter with some intellectual reading. I suggest something a bit challenging to get going like maybe... Dr. Seuss? Whilst someone like you would not understand anything that intellectual, it will make you sleepy and hopefully jolt you up in the morning screaming ‘holy crap!, im a loser, time to make something of my life!’

Hope this helps.
-dC
P.S. aren’t you the guy who was getting clobbered for not providing the VIP passengers with information on the delayed flight out of Mumbai last week? Idiot.

Posted by chitgo at 2/09/2007 10:05:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

I've been in discussions with quite a few of you guys over the past few weeks regarding my desire and consequent action steps for a change from my currently existing role...

Knowledge services in a private equity fund was an interesting ride...lots of learning, lots of realizations and lots of introspection on my interests and motivation. The result is that I did a good job and am now more confident than ever on what I'm really driven to make happen at this stage of my career. As always though, only time will tell.

I said this some weeks back, the realization of knowing what you do NOT want to do is at times even greater than knowing what you DO want to do.

Be that as it may, I now know what I do want to do. Needless to say, I'm hellishly excited about it..

Come the 1st week of March, I shall be joining globosport as Manager for Sales and Marketing (Northern region- India).

For the unitiated, Globosport is a sport and entertainment management company and is into athlete representation, celebrity management and executing entertainment & sports events.

Thanks to everyone who was with me through the long and detailed discussions on next steps, possibilities, opportunities and bursts of ego boosts most required by someone on the verge of making a complete industrial shift...you know who you are.

What's left to say? Bring it on....

Posted by chitgo at 2/07/2007 03:51:00 PM | Permalink | Comments   

Slightly flushed
breathing heavily
laying gently
across whitened sheets
whitened only
by the beauty
of our love making
I watch you sleep.

Hours ago
you played me
mischievously
beckoning me closer
deeper
into your mind
body
soul
I watch you smile

Minutes ago
I felt your touch
tender
electric
mismatched
to your otherwise
nonchalant air
I watch you
pull back
your cinnamon hair.

Weeks ago
we tested our patience
when would our time
finally arrive?
when would we be
together
forever
I watched you sigh

Months ago
I arrived
casually
unknowing
unaware
of what lay
on the cards
I watched you
slip your hand
into mine..

Posted by chitgo at 2/07/2007 11:37:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Dear dC,
This last week has been the very saddest of my entire life. I have never known the earth shattering aftermath of a great loss; but god, in all his beauty, in all his cruelty, took someone very close away from me, and I just have not been able to find the answers…

He was over a 160 years old, the oldest living member of our family, Abraham D’Souza (affectionately ‘Abe’) - our pet turtle, passed away silently in his sleep last week. Having seen me grown up and having been with me through the toughest of times, I am looking for a way to honor his life with a funeral ceremony. Knowing the sensitivity and beauty with which you express your deepest feelings, I thought who better than dC to help me make this a glorious goodbye.

-Lost in lucknow

Dear lost,
Man, I have one question for you. What kind of people, or lets say what species on this planet, choose a turtle for a pet? I mean seriously. Is a turtle even categorized in the ‘Worlds Handbook of Certified Pets’? I’m trying to see your side here, I really am. All I’m left wondering though is – Dude, a turtle? Did you guys play catch? Did he bound into the doorway when he saw you come back from school? Did he lick your face when seeing you after a family vacation? Did he purr gently and snuggle up next to you?

Dude…a handbag is not a pet.

Also, with my little knowledge of turtles, Abe here passed away well before his time right? ‘cos these dudes usually live upto being like 8000 years old or something? I was watching this national geographic once and they found this 4000 year old skeleton, and there was a turtle sitting right next to it. What was crazy though was that scientists figured out he was one of those angst filled teenage turtles (not the mutant ninja ones) going through puberty. Man, thats some old shit.

Don’t get me wrong though. I, in all my wisdom once thought of getting a turtle as well. I have no idea why. I even thought of a name – Tot. Pretty insipid name but I was like 6 or something. Anyway, the idea was scrapped when my dad brought to light that harsh realities of everyday life.

“dC my son, you’d call tot for breakfast and he would come down for dinner”.

As always, he was right. I got a pet elephant instead, a much better choice and only partially illegal.

Ok, so anyway. You want to plan a funeral thing. I guess you’d do the usual – life size picture of ol’ Abe in the front. Friends and family crawling around his 4x4 coffin munching (slowly) on some cloves or leaves or something…

You gotta have the right music ofcourse…I’d suggest any of George Winston’s albums (the December album is tremendously soulful)...If you want to really get a tribute going you might wanna put on some Robert cray or Kenny wayne Sheppard to kick in the blues as the amphibians and you discuss stories of how he once sped across the living room in less than a week to honor his beloved kimi raikkonen. Yeah, itll be a relaxed scene. Maybe later you guys can make a table out of him or something. Honor and utility are partners in the game of life….

Hope this helps
-dC
P.S. if I get a mail from you a week later asking for a first draft on the eulogy of your pet snake ‘anna’ ; the answer is no. Freak.

Posted by chitgo at 2/05/2007 11:28:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

dear dC,
I’m a smart, attractive working girl with a good pay check and enough men humming around me for attention. I like to go clubbing and enjoy the occasional blues concert as well. The problem is that I can’t really hold my drink…I can start off slow with a small screwdriver or apple martini, but post the second or third drink I’m usually flying pretty high and this has caused more than an embarrassing situation for me in the past. I recently had to be carried home in a bit of an inebriated state by co-workers which has resulted in a few (but irritating) office jokes….
Any advice from a alco-master like yourself?
-tipsy in Trivandrum.

Dear Tipsy,
Ok girlfriend, here’s the deal…people who cannot handle their drink, should NOT DRINK. If there’s anything I hate more than preppy chicks getting wasted on the first wiff of a tight rum and coke, is preppy chicks with some semblance of a brain knowingly making a retarded fool out of themselves. In case you haven’t noticed, you are gracefully and fortunately classified as type B.

Now as I see it, staying away from the fortified grapes isn’t really your forte so I’ll suggest a few other solutions.

• Mix a whole bunch of that aerated crap with anything alcoholic you drink
• Eat large portions of salty crap as you drink.
• Drink a lot of water as you drink (I hope this has not confused you)

Now each of these activities will certify you as a grade A loser, I mean who in their right mind would want to have a conversation with you as you’re stuffing your face with tikkas and red-bull?? This will also make you fat. Congratulations, you are now a certified social disaster; but hell, way better than finding yourself twisted upside down throwing up like an anorexic with food poisoning, all re-enacting scenes from the exorcist. Oh, and if you want to keep drinking, just listen to some robbie Williams and james blunt while you’re at it, it’s the kind of music which will kill your high no matter what you’re on.

Hope this helps.
-dC

Posted by chitgo at 2/02/2007 09:58:00 AM | Permalink | Comments   

Posted by chitgo at 2/01/2007 09:52:00 AM | Permalink | Comments