Van Chitgo - The Art of Life

SNL continues to rule in enormous volumes :) You guys will love this.

Posted by chitgo at 11/14/2009 09:26:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

we went ahead and turned 26. Jesus.

Posted by chitgo at 11/12/2009 09:48:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Bruised
battered
aching
traumatized

and kind of shit-scared.

40k poorer and 40 times as angry as I've ever been at myself. And it wasn't even my fault.

Delayed customer service by a whopping 3 weeks and 4 weeks before I get behind my little zippy...

it's been a bad bad 24 hours.

But thank god for saving my life. Thank god.

Posted by chitgo at 11/10/2009 04:15:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

The pursuit of perfection is never-ending. With each passing phase , the lines become blurry but the 'distinctions' become vivid. There are doors forever closed but there are windows forever askew. I guess it was embedded in my DNA to just keep trying.

Keep trying to innovate, to push the envelope and explore avenues that would break the mould.

Keep trying to connect, re-connect and forge new bonds based on memories and experiences and the love of a common thread that binds our past. When after 17 months, the decision was finally upon me to break away and tear fearlessly down an unknown path, I dug deep into the well of courage I've been blessed with. What I found gave me a restless peace. Restless only because the one consistent theme that refuses to die - is the one that screams 'I'm going to keep trying'. Throw your challenges, your antithesis, your pressures, your societal mores at me - I'll keep on and I'll keep trying.

The Asian sojourn (as I have aptly coined on fB) was an effort and a wonder in well planned deservedness. It was barely 10 days but felt like a mini lifetime of vast beaches, jet skis and an array of little jems like Bangsar and CBD and the bella vista and the insanity of PD going for a 7 km run after what can only be described as a marathon session of abuse at the hands of duty free inebriation in a tiny island town off the coast of Malaysia. It was about watching a new relationship blossom and the self indulgent smiles that reminded me of difficult times that lay ahead for 'them' and the barriers 'we' had crossed to reach where we are now.

Pure relief was the only emotion upon receiving that email which reminded me that there is perhaps some justice in a system that had me scared from the word go. It would cut short a vacation which turned out to be the best eventuality in any case. I returned on the 10th with anxiety on my head and hope in my heart that the ensuing conversation of the consequent morning would be to my 'advantage'. It was brilliant. Could I have asked for anything more? Probably not. Will this mean a victory? I actually dont' know. The thing with casual conversations is that the outcome isn't always what you expect it to be.

That done, we spent an entire day doing a post mortem of the questions, the answers, the expectations, the concerns and the potential decisions that lay ahead. Thanks GH for opening the comfort of a family setting that morning. The creators were together in a deserved time of reduced insomnia and warmth much missed. I think the knowledge of that togetherness has proven to be the strongest weapon in my armoury these past 2years of insane introspection and self imposed doubt. How I let that happen to me is ridiculous in hindsight. But hindsight is just that isn't it? Easy to look back in wonder. The moment is what defines us. In my moment(s) of truth , I know I met my fundamentals of righteousness and integrity square on - time after time. I cannot ask more of myself. The 'conversation' that would 'judge' my time proved it to be so. There was an ease of delivery and a sense of 'been there , done that' which pulled me through. In flying colors? Time will tell. Either which way, I know I'm a happy man.

The week of Diwali was a lot more than I had expected. Home alone, there were things to do and a transition to achieve. A quick transition at that. I'm glad I had a bit of time on my hands. Iron those kurtas, polish thoes peshawaris, hunt out the clean bank notes so that the teen patti could be enjoyed in the company of close friends and consequently - an extended family that I increasingly find comfortable in calling my own. It sounds strange when I type it. It sounds strange when I say it in my head. What's stranger is that its a fuzzy, warm alternative universe that I'm hugely excited about embracing. Perhaps this is what they were talking about. Perhaps this is how it's meant to be - the roadblocks, the valleys and pitfalls will continue to come and go, but the companionship of an unconditional partner is unparalleled in its awesomeness. We played together, laughed together and watched the temperature drop late into the evening on the soon to be hazy Delhi skyline. After 8 flights in 10 days, it was good to be home. I lit the candles on either side of the handsome door of our abode and excitedly laid the gainde ka fool alongside floating diyas on the pathway. On another day, in another year, the festivities would have been marked in much grander a fashion. I however, could not ask for more. We forget what true wealth is. I looked around for someone to thank for my riches. You were all in my thoughts that night.

The new phase emerges like a phoenix of opportunity and I try once again to greet it wholeheartedly. There is excitement, there is a semblance of control. With control, comes responsibility. Ready as I'll ever be.

Posted by chitgo at 10/22/2009 06:50:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

albeit a brief victory of the body, mind and soul. These 'spoils' deserve a much more elaborate description.

until then:

Posted by chitgo at 10/10/2009 09:21:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

The promise of partnership and the idealism of potential lay gutted and bleeding in a simple one liner that reminds me of the futility that lay in the dilemma of my decision.

"Let's not fool ourselves".

After all I've been through, how could I still be so naive?

Time to move on, and as always - the knowledge of a well crafted, inspiring and cumulative effort walks alongside. The laurels, praise and almost wide eyed wonder at what has been witnessed reinforces the faith. A faith I had all but lost in the sickening constriction of self belief by another.

Let no man dare to judge. Let no man dare to drop even a shred of doubt in your mind. It is the mind's own eye that is posed to question -

"are you worthy?"

I am.

Posted by chitgo at 10/01/2009 09:19:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

here

here

here

Posted by chitgo at 9/29/2009 10:45:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

CHITGOPEKAR/DHRUVMR
1. MH 193 L 03OCT BLRKUL HK2 0055 0740
2. MH 192 L 09OCT KULBLR HK2 2210 2340

And to top it off, there's some mid trip awesomeness planned with khatts, bheesh and dave in singaland...

Posted by chitgo at 9/21/2009 12:54:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

this was absolutely brilliant :) Defines why the US open is one of the most enjoyable grand slams to watch in its fierce competitiveness and awesome crowds. Djokovich and Mcenroe put on a little show!

Posted by chitgo at 9/10/2009 10:16:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

this process sure does leave you stripped and bare. Riding through the wave to witness the 'other side'.

Just got exposed to Porcupine tree and the latest MOS CG. Side by side, Monster Magnet's greatest hits keep me company to an age of rock-hopping gone by.

A good friend called from across borders a few days ago, can't believe it's been nearly 9 years since 'dem schoolyards.

Kalyug the title has nothing to do with any of this ofcourse.

Working weekends have their own charm to them - NOT. Over and out.

Posted by chitgo at 9/05/2009 10:33:00 PM | Permalink | Comments