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dC's advice column: advice

Dear dC,

My personality/work are such that I end up being asked to give advice on everything under the sun and my cellphone has become more of a 'Advice Hotline'. Unfortunately, about 50% of the time people don't end up taking my advice and then end up crying and coming back to me a year later saying they wish they'd listened to me while I resist the urge to say, 'I told you so!' Sometimes I wonder if I should move to the top of a mountain where my advice will have more meaning and an aura of romanticism. Please tell me how you manage to cope with all this.

Advisor to the people,
Confused in Karachi




Dear Confused,

I have often been faced with the depression arising out of the curse of unending wisdom and knowledge. It is truly the bane of intelligence.

There are however, solutions. Firstly, quit whining. Secondly, do not resist from saying ‘I told you so’. It is an effective, clinical and awesome thing to say to someone who has obviously not taken the good advice you have been so gracious to provide. Thirdly, the pained expression on their face from such cruel heartlessness is worth a million bucks.

Ok, moving to the top of a mountain is not a good idea (unless it’s the swiss alps which are in general more developed and habitable than some of the ‘posh’ areas’ of places you and I come from). Mountains are cold, windy and good to see from a postcard. Do not be foolish.

Instead, I suggest you become a cool corporate mckinsey/BCG type person and charge unheard of amounts for telling people something they already knew but were too dumb to notice. This way you will get a nice office, good looking co-workers and an air of superiority that you can blanket with a crazy bank balance and proud parents. Do not give advice to idiots, it will only make you feel like one.

Hope this helps. if not, i guess you should give yourself some advice since you seem good at that.

-dC

heheh...after a crappy day at work, i SO needed that! u rock :)

fuckin eh!

quit being an agony aunt bastard... n grow a pair!!!

So when I get beaten up for saying "I told you so" - I shall send my hospital bill to your address. :P

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