Van Chitgo - The Art of Life

yes. i have been spoilt. who wouldn't be?
the scene: after having ripped up 9/10ths of the road at over 140 km/h in the most classiest street of zurich , there is something to be said about a steaming red ferrari 360 spider come to a slow and steady halt as if to acknowledge respectfully your presence whilst you cross the road. as you amble by the 10 ft crossing and look to your right, the driver(in most cases a super model looking man/woman probably on his/her way to receiving the 'investment banker of the year' award) smiles at you with a gaze so patient you would wonder if you've somehow been teleported into the 2050 AD version of Happy Days.

SO, dont be blaming me if I tended to get a bit road-ragey (yes i just made that word up - its my blog remember?) when a delapitated maruti 800 struggling to gain speeds upward of 40km/h decides that he is kimi's long lost sub-continental brother
,and that too in a fricking 10 ft wide space of concrete situated in a back alley somewhere off the shores of the capital (aka gurgaon). my initial thoughts are too stick my head out and spray profanities unbefitting of an educated and strapping young lad like myself.

no, its rather unbefitting i say. i have also taken a liking to the word unbefitting. if this exaggerated usage is irritating you right this moment, that is rather unbefitting as well. its like saying warren buffet with your mouth full of gipfeli really. gipfeli for the uneducated and unitiated, is a scrumptious swiss breakfast sometimes filled with butter and more often filled with chocolate. consumed best with a hot chocolate with a dash of extra sugar for the early morning kick.

this deviation is unbefitting as well.,
back to the point, i stop myself and ask "what kind of change agent(yes i hate that term as well but then it describes the situation beautifully) would i be if I was to reduce myself to such immaturity?" . to be hugely successful, a wonderful human being, entrepreneur, bringer of great joy, beloved son, lover of tremendous proportions etc etc is all fine and dandy...BUT WHO (i ask who) will bring some element of politeness into my fellow delhiite?

notice how i say delhiite. i would not dare tarnish the soul and integrity of my fellow mumbaiker (who anyway has bigger problems on his hands then a random delhi boy contemplating the theories of on-road etiquette, what with him wading through 7
feet deep water in the midst of excessive rains, a dismal civic setup and a pretty disgusting feeling of deja vu from the downpour of last year. did i forget to mention that the average indian man is about 5 ft tall? yup, so its quite a party
down there, and i dont mean the kind of party where you have a good time)

and this is where my quest began. unknowingly, over 3 weeks ago, I began acting like a maniac as far as delhi standards go..how you might ask? (you might not ask as well but then its not like im giving you much of a choice)

maniacal action #1: I give way.
Yes, you heard me right. In a road section just about wide to allow one of our holy cows to squeeze through, delhiites are forced to fit cars (that would give a hummer an inferiority complex) sometimes 3 at a go. (because in delhi, any road can
become an intersection. no real need for a traffic light ofcourse. our driving instincts are enough). so, what have i been doing? strategically, patiently and with a smile on my face, i maneuver my deft little santro to the side (almost always
inches before a ditch or patch of grassland) and gestulate with my palm that the driver should come through. the obvious reactions range from pure ego kicks (i am a supreme being, even strangers move out of my path when they see me HOHAHAHA, it
surely must be the fact that my car is 6 times the average size of a monster truck participant, painted a deep shade of yellow and sporting the name TIGER at the back) to "where's my gun , that guy just showed me his palm. HIS PALM! to "wtf@#$#,
this guy is either crazy or his cars' broken down. " - the list goes on.
i am still waiting for the list of reactions to include a "hey, thanks man (any hindi dialect would do for me really)"

maniacal action #2: greet the other person.
yes, you heard me right again. "namaste bhaiyya, ram ram bhai sahab". for the average delhiite across economical status' - exchanging pleasantries is about
as pleasant as being shot point blank in the shin. monosyllables are the ethic here. so when i (quite whimsically i might add) go about greeting people and smiling and actually saying thank you....there is evoked an element of surprise. reactions are as you've obviously guessed : "is he out to cheat me?" "is this guy on drugs" "what the hell are you so happy for, did you just win the lottery" etc etc.
yesterday, i tipped the guy who gave me tea by an extra 2 rupees. not a big deal but certainly in the backlands of gurgaon scraping for any extra cash is a way of life. i swear i could have detected a smile.

its been painstaking but fun. somehow , somewhere, this fight (the good fight) will pay off. a long long way to go before there is actually a semblance of mutual respect for a fellow human being. i will have my bad days as well im sure, yet i
promise my reactions will be nothing more than a few foul swiss swear words muttered under my breath :) (im not really sure how to spell 'hure sheiz' - some help rob?)

yesterday was moving in day. arguments turned almost to aggression when the beds we got built didnt fit through the staircase up to our apartment. memories of ross shouting 'pivot, pivot!' had me smiling for not more than 2 seconds before i heard the worker remark " this is not going to work". yeah, i lost my cool. i did make the effort of 3 rounds to the guys shop, explaining the narrow path up to the first and
second floors. i did. stay cool dhruv. i did. went back to his shop, picked up 3 more furniture builders, brought them back to the house and helped them lift immensely heavy double beds up 4 flights of stairs. yeah, i helped too. for those who know me, you're well aware that im good at brisk (basically 5 minutes) physical activity after which im more than ready to be lowered onto a couch of choice, beverage in hand. not this time. huffing and puffing (interspersed with negotiations with our downstairs neighbour who happens to be an elderly, semi-cantacerous gentleman with a not-too enthusiastic view of young men shifting in the apartment above him. i shudder to think if i told him girls might come over) , we got the job done. nothing like manly labour to bring 2 warring parties together. the young kid tells me that he's never witnessed anyone helping out in the way i did and he's sorry for the way they behaved earlier.
i look at him, slip an extra 50 bucks into his hand and tell him to grab some cokes for his buddies and himself. i slept well
on the bed i helped carry up last night.

all is right with the world once again. we can be civil...i mean who else do we have on this planet but our fellow man?

Posted by chitgo on Tuesday, July 04, 2006 at 7/04/2006 03:39:00 PM | Permalink